While I was living in Los Angeles these past several years, I was lucky enough to meet Barbara Caplan-Bennett, a fellow member of the Independent Writers of Southern California.  A novelist and trained action coach, Barbara is a person who helps writers redesign their approach to life so they can write.

Here’s how she writes it:

It’s our gift and our job as writers to create compelling lives on paper, whether with fictional characters in a novel or screenplay or “real life” people portrayed in a memoir.   But how well can we do that if we are not fully living our own lives?  Your goal, your dream, is to finish your novel, screenplay, or memoir, then to see it published or produced.  So what’s holding you back?  Lack of focus, perfectionism, poor time management?

Whatever your challenge may be, you can redesign your life to empower your creativity and enhance your writing — create a balanced life that includes time and energy for your writing and for supportive relationships, a writing community, and personal or spiritual growth.

Sound difficult?  What if you didn’t have to face it alone?  What if you had someone to listen to you objectively and intuitively, then ask you powerful questions that evoke clarity and perspective?  What if you could brainstorm with someone, uncover options you didn’t think you had?  What if you had a trained Action Coach focused entirely on moving you forward faster and more easily than you might on your own?   That’s where I come in . . .

Reading these words felt to me like listening to a fairy godmother. Somebody could help me unscramble priorities, keep on track and meet writing and publishing goals without extra anguish and frustration? I called Barbara for the complimentary half-hour telephone coaching session she offers and experienced something very valuable—a deep listener who was listening for what it was I wanted to do with my writing and asking me questions that would lead me to be able to see my way to doing it.  It was clear that the “altered circumstances” we writers wish for (to have more time for writing and more ability to switch off all the thinking we do about our schedules and daily commitments) is a wish that can absolutely come true if we listen to ourselves, make goals, honor their importance, and then alter our own circumstances so we can meet our goals. And these alterations are surprisingly within our reach.

After our phone call, Barbara agreed to an interview for Writing It Real.  I think you will find looking through her eyes enlightening.  After reading what she has to say, you may be interested in reading more about life coaching, using life coaching approaches to help you keep writing or finding a coach to work with. Whether you start coaching yourself or enlisting the help of a professional like Barbara, I believe that by using the perceptual stance of the coaches, you will see big differences in your attitude about your writing and the place of writing in your life.

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Sheila:
I know that you have written several published articles as well as a novel that is currently in the hands of an enthusiastic agent.  I’m wondering how you realized you would enjoy coaching others in their writing and how you learned about the profession.

Barbara:
I had a friend who was a  “career counselor turned coach. ” She introduced me to the concept of coaching when she mentioned she had a writer client and she was puzzled about how to get her into action.  I got an immediate rush of “I know! I know!” because I’ve encountered that challenge myself over and over during the course of my writing life.  And in fact, supporting writers to be more productive, confident, etc. is what I’ve done all along with writer friends.  Now I’m better at it because I’ve acquired additional skills through my training, which I started in 2001 and completed in 2003.

 It’s much more than a “day job,” because it’s very fulfilling for me to see writers suddenly feel good again about their passion and themselves.  I’ve been writing since I was a kid — at first mostly in journals.  I had a rather bumpy road to regular writing as an adult.  There’s a lot of self-loathing and guilt in nonproductive writers, and it doesn’t serve them well as writers or as humans.

My first publishing credit was a short story in a small magazine called “Coffee Break,” published out of Washington.  I finished my first novel when I was 29 and after three “good” rejections, I put it away due to an enormous personal upheaval in my life.  In the interim years, I tried my hand at more short stories, but I really do better with long work.  While working on a second novel, I was moved to write an essay entitled “Not Just a Secretary,” which was published by The Los Angeles Daily Journal and got so much response (I even got fan mail), that it was republished in a number of legal periodicals around the country (San Francisco, Chicago, Seattle, Detroit, Minneapolis, among other cities.)  My next essay (about my three-legged cat) was published in Cat Fancy Magazine.   I also did a stint writing summaries of entertainment-related lawsuits for Entertainment Digest.

Although I don’t consider myself a poet, I did write poetry during my college days, and many years later, had a poem published in the instruction manual for “Impact Self Defense Training,” a program from which I graduated.

I am currently working with three novels in various stages. My hope for my future is to have my third novel sell soon to a major publisher, to complete the novel I am currently working on within the next year or two, and to turn the second one I wrote and published, Nothin’ Left to Lose into a screenplay.  But just as important to me is my future as both an action coach and seminar leader, supporting writers in becoming committed to the process and improving their craft in a way that serves their ultimate goal of getting published or produced.

Sheila:
Where did you get training? How was it beneficial?

Barbara:
I got my training through Coach U, one of the two most prominent training institutes in the country.  Perhaps most important is that I’ve learned how to take myself out of the coaching process.  Coaching is not about the coach — it’s not a question of what I think is a right choice or path — it’s about listening to clients and questioning them until they become clear about their own answers.  Supporting the client to find clarity and perspective is vital to the process.

Sheila:
Can you give us examples from coaching sessions to show us what it means to the client to have time focused on them and what the results are?

Barbara:
Sometimes in a given week a client has an unusually tight schedule — the client has to choose which of several important projects to give their time to because there simply isn’t time for everything.  Rather than focus on the projects, I ask the bigger question:  Which outcome has priority for you right now? People tend not to think in those terms and to do so puts a different perspective on their choice.  The next question may be a hard one:  “What can you let go of this week?”  We are so tied to things that do not move us along (i.e. a draining friend who keeps us on the phone for an hour complaining about the same things over and over or particular household chores that we’ve become unnecessarily obsessive about or even a writing project we think we should do but keep putting off because we don’t really want to do it). The decision to “let go” of something can be extremely valuable and freeing, of both our energy and time.

One client came to me because she lives in a geographic location that was devoid of a writing community.  Over the course of the past year, this woman has used coaching sessions to develop regular events and programs that draw in writers from surrounding areas (she did all the leg work of finding a meeting place, getting publicity out, etc.)  She has now created a writing community on her own where none existed before and heads up two well-attended, high profile poetry reading series.  Her tremendous accomplishment serves not only her, but also many others.

Another writer had been working on a screenplay on and off for a very long time, but hadn’t really been committed to putting the time in to complete it.  As we worked together, it became clear where she was getting stuck, and we worked on ways for her to get past that block (an emotional block, not a technical one). She is now working like a demon and is close to completion.

Another client was working on a nonfiction proposal with a deadline that she was convinced she would not meet.  She has a career (besides writing) and a family, and was struggling with multiple distractions, lack of focus, etc.  As we worked together, she created manageable goals along the way and stuck to them — finding methods that helped her stay on track (one of which was being held accountable by me for completing her work each week).

I want to stress that in each of these cases, it was the client who made the choices, did the work, and was ultimately responsible for their own success.  My part as their coach was: to listen, to reflect back to them what I was hearing (we are often unaware of how very telling word choices and tone of voice are) and, finally, to ask powerful questions. The answers to these questions provided an understanding of what the clients really wanted and what they had to do to make what they wanted happen.  And for some clients (not all), my part is to hold them accountable for their commitments.

There’s a common saying about coaching that goes like this:  Why does Tiger Woods — the world’s greatest golfer — still have a coach?  Because he can’t see his own swing!  Well, the same is true in many walks of life.  We have a hard time seeing ourselves and our own lives with any kind of objectivity.  (Which is why I have a coach myself!)

Sheila:
How can writers evaluate their need for a coach? And if they use a coach, how can they evaluate the success of their work with that coach?

Barbara:
Writers get value from coaching if they (a) want more of something in their lives; (b) want to improve something about their lives; and/or (c) want to change something in their lives.  As for success — again, it’s a very personal definition.  Using writers as an example, some may feel successful if they are simply sitting down to write every day (when they were not doing so before) — while others may feel success only after they have completed something or had it published.

Sheila:
How long does the coaching relationship usually last?

Barbara:
It varies, of course, according to the client’s needs.  I request a three-month minimum commitment because working with a coach and meeting goals is a process that takes time.  Some of my clients have been with me longer, of course. Sometimes clients take a break and return.  The woman who successfully created the writing community has returned to coaching sessions because she enjoys using the coaching process in support of making effective decisions now that she has growing opportunities.

Sheila:
I met you socially.  How do writers usually find you or any coach?

Barbara:
You find a coach through any one of the numerous directories on the Internet (findacoach.com is most popular, but there’s also coachville.com and several others), or by contacting the International Coach Federation.   Usually coaching directories like those I mentioned give you a little flavor for each coach. Also ask around.  Coaching is becoming so visible that it’s likely you will know someone who either has a coach, or knows a coach.   People starting out usually ask for a smaller fee to attract more clients while they gain experience.  Sometimes the listings on the directories will spell this out.  But more often, you discover this when you have personal conversations with the coaches and ask how long they’ve been in practice.

Although I recommend interviewing at least three before you make a decision, I also know that if you feel you  “click” with one particular person, you should go with that one.  Coaching is a partnership and choosing and evaluating a coach is a very personal matter.  Your styles should match, and you should feel a comfort level with the person that allows you to relax and trust them and the process.

Sheila:
Do you have any warnings or cautions?

Barbara:
Because coaching is relatively new and still unlegislated, it’s very much a “Buyer Beware” situation. Anyone can hang a shingle with the title “coach,” even with absolutely no training.  While it is true that very often the best coaches have a natural calling or gift for coaching, I also believe there is a definite learned skill set for effective coaching.

There are levels of credentials for coaching, including certification, and master certification.  I don’t believe it’s necessary to find a “certified” coach (they are usually the most expensive), but it’s always a good idea to have a coach who is affiliated with one of the top coaching schools (Coach U and Coaches Training Institute are two.)

Sheila:
How much does it cost to have a coach?

Barbara:
Trained coaches charge an average of $350 per month.  Certified coaches generally start at $450 and up.  Fledgling coaches may charge very little or even work pro bono to gain experience.  I am trained and working toward my certification (750 paid coaching hours).  I offer several programs to fit a range of budgets.

Sheila:
If a writer is just at the beginning of a career and does not have money for a coach, can they direct someone they know to help them?  Someone else who writes, maybe?

Barbara:
I would say it depends on what you most need.  If it’s simply accountability, a writer’s group can really help with that.  But a friend and a coach are different in a big way.  A friendship is reciprocal and subjective.  A coach is totally focused on you, and objectivity is an important part of that.

That said, I absolutely believe having a connection with another writer, a “buddy,” is very important, whether or not you have a coach.  In addition to my writing group, I have two different writer friends with whom I discuss my work and bounce ideas around (as do they with me), and the very act of discussing my work with them can generate the flow of more ideas in my head.  They may make suggestions that I don’t take, but which spark another way of thinking for me.  Very valuable.

Sheila:
I know that working with friends or fellow writers does introduce the objectivity issue. Many people believe that friends are “just saying that” when they tell the writer they’ll be able to do it, and I also know that friends don’t want to seem bossy or too direct at times.  And as friends, we certainly don’t want to become another’s conscience.

Barbara:
Yes, objectivity is an important part of the coaching relationship because a coach’s job is to be truthful and when necessary, have an edge and call the client on things.  There are some friends who can do this.  But it seems to me that most friends have some concern about “rocking the boat.”  They are personally invested in their friend’s behavior in a way a coach is not.

Now, having said that, I must confess, I have actually been hired by friends to act as their coach.  I know with certainty that I could not do this for some friends.  But in the case of the particular friends who hired me, we had serious discussions before embarking on a coaching relationship.  These were about what the boundaries were between our friendship and our coaching relationship.  You can only coach a friend if you are willing to risk losing the friendship because of the very things I mentioned above — to coach well, you must be able to speak the truth when necessary.

Sheila:
I know this might require sticking your neck out, but what the heck. Let’s see where this one goes:

Many writers see therapists. Some don’t, afraid that with their devils, so will their angels flee.  Could a writer benefit from using a coach instead of a therapist?  Is using a coach instead of a therapist a way to cut corners?

Barbara:
Interesting question.  And by the way, I do not subscribe to the belief that “you must be troubled to be a great artist.”  If so, I’d hang it all up, because I’m way too happy and well-adjusted to be a great writer by that definition.  To me, what makes a great writer is a deep desire to understand human nature, to want to get under the skin of characters and know why they do what they do and to be able to empathize with those in pain, because truly we all have pain — no matter how “happy and well-adjusted” we are.  We have all suffered at some time.  We don’t need to be angst-ridden on a daily basis to understand what that means.

NOW — Here’s the big difference between therapy and coaching.

Therapy is concerned with your past.  What wounds or damage have you suffered and how do you heal them?
Coaching is concerned with your future.  What is your vision for your life?  How do you choose the path to get you there?  What actions must you take to move forward?  How do you break down the big picture into something manageable?

A writer who is blocked because of past wounds may get some benefit from coaching, but if the damage is severe enough and is truly causing the block, sooner or later (usually sooner), the writer will hit a wall, even with their coach.  I believe there is no substitute for healing.

There is disagreement in the coaching community on this point.  But it’s my opinion that coaching is most effective for highly functioning people, many of whom have gone through therapy and dealt with their past so they can focus on their future.  Some think that it’s better to at least have a coach than nothing at all.  But there are also some coaches that blur the line between therapy and coaching, and I think this can be a dangerous thing.

Of course, there are also many coaches who have been or still are practicing therapists.   These kinds of coaches may be a good solution for a writer in that situation.

As for the “cutting corners” part of the question, if you are asking about shortening the process, working with a coach can absolutely help you do that, because a coach will help you zero in on what you want, and perhaps more important, how you define that.  Everyone wants “success” — how many people really know what that means for them personally?  You’d be shocked how people either can’t answer the question, or answer it with a rote response that is not thought out or even their own — but rather is simply what they think “success” is supposed to be.

I’ve also come to believe, working with so many writers, that there are three key elements a writer must have to grease the writing wheels and stay in action:  They are clarity, confidence and commitment.  While a writer may be weak in one or two of these elements and continue writing, the process will most likely feel like an enormous struggle — and it will rarely be joyful.  As a coach, I strive to help people formulate clarity, build confidence, and strengthen their commitment.

Sheila:
I agree.  I’ve read many articles by writers saying that having talent isn’t what helped them succeed.  It was attributes like the ones you’ve named (with great alliteration).  Have you ever had to “fire” a client for not being able to address these elements?

Barbara: I have been on the verge of discontinuing the coaching with certain clients because they didn’t seem to be keeping their commitment. They were missing phone calls and not doing the legwork required to meet the goals they’d set.  However, these clients discontinued on their own, realizing that, for whatever reasons, they were not yet ready to make and meet the goals they’d outlined.   Once I decided not to take a client on because I realized that the issues the client wanted to work on were about healing past wounds and not about moving forward.  Again, addressing these issues would best be served in therapy.

Sheila:
Have any of your clients ever realized they didn’t want to write?

Barbara:
When I first talk with clients, I ask what they most want to make happen in their lives.  For writers it is usually finishing things, whether it’s the writing or getting it published.  Next, I ask, “How would you feel if you achieve this? I follow this question with another, “If you don’t?”  If the answer to the second question is, “Well, I guess I’d be okay,” the person I’m talking with is probably not going to become a client because writing is not that important at the moment. I am here to listen, not to tell clients what they should do. I would never tell anyone not to bother writing.  I believe people’s ideas have value, even if they are not ready to work on writing them.

Sheila:
In summary then, a life or action coach is…?

Barbara:
A life coach is someone who empowers clients to enhance their lives, supporting them as they pursue a passion or choose a new direction and move forward.  Coaches do this by listening intuitively and asking the client powerful questions that may create a shift in thinking and ultimately elicit from the client a discovery (or rediscovery) of his or her priorities, values and needs, and often, a plan to take action.  A Life Coach provides clients with a partner who is objective, someone with whom to brainstorm, and someone to hold up the mirror, so to speak, so they can get perspective on themselves and their actions.  Often clients make better decisions faster as a result of having a coach.

Writers are particularly great candidates for coaching because their challenges are often very coachable.  Some writers struggle with time management and discipline.  A coach is a great support in conquering this by helping the writer to understand their own individual process (a key to being productive), and helping the writer to set attainable goals for which they are held accountable.

Other writers who are self-motivated, instead face the challenge of finding balance.  Juggling a day job or children and writing, for example, may cause some writers to neglect other areas of their life, e.g., health, social life, self-care, etc., which may leave them feeling unfulfilled and deprived even though they are writing steadily.  A coach can work with their clients on creating more space and time in their lives for other things, without forfeiting discipline and devotion to their creative work.  Sometimes that involves simplifying life, deciding what can be let go, becoming more organized, and delegating tasks.

Perhaps most important, a coach can partner with their client to create a life that is conducive to creativity in all respects:  a life that includes a comfortable physical environment, supportive relationships, a writing community, and personal growth that will greatly enhance a writer’s confidence, motivation and ultimately, their productivity.

Sheila:
This something to type out and pin over our desks as an affirmation — “I can create a life conducive to creativity in all respects: a life that includes a comfortable physical environment, supportive relationships, a writing community, and personal growth that will greatly enhance my confidence, motivation and ultimately my productivity.”  That sentence alone is a giant step in empowering writers! Thank you, Barbara!