Writing With Sense of Place
Writing that rivets its readers requires evocation of place, situation, and at least one person to inhabit the place and deal with the situation. This is true for all writing, even the most lyrical, imagistic or self-reflective. In her novel Veil of Roses, author Laura Fitzgerald makes use of opportunities to describe Tucson, AZ, where her novel is set and Iran, where her freshly transplanted protagonist is from, through the protagonist’s eyes. Everything Tamila Soroush sees and hears contrasts with what she is used to seeing and hearing. Viewing shopping malls and coffee houses, restaurants and landscapes through her eyes allows readers to feel present in the young woman’s situation, to relate to it as if it might be their own.
During her visit to a shopping mall, Tami thinks:
There is so much glitter, so much shine. So much skin! Some women even display their belly buttons for all to see! When it comes to sex, Iran and America seem to be complete opposites. Here everything seems designed to make men think of sex. There, everything is meant to suppress it. Here, young girls don’t have to be accompanied by a mahram, no brother or uncle or father to protect them from being fooled by a smooth-talking boy. Here, boys and girls hold hands and openly kiss each other. In Iran, even married people do not do this in public.
In this passage, we go very quickly from glitter, shine, skin, and belly buttons to contrasts in behavior between the two cultures. The short list of details is skillfully drawn from what is familiar behavior to anyone who people watches at a mall. Keeping the list short provides a pace that matches the way we take in details when we are in a crowd.
On her first solitary walk to her ESL class, Tami is thirsty and decides to stop to buy herself a drink. She sees a Starbuck’s with these words on the door, “Make This Your Neighborhood Starbucks.” She thinks, “It is good to have neighborhood places. In Iran, we had so many bazsaaris, shopkeepers who would look out for us….” She enters and looks around:
There is an unlit fireplace. Two men play chess, speaking not at all. A table by the window separates two easy chairs. One is occupied by a woman about my age, who curls her legs under her on the chair. She highlights the passages of a text and chews on the highlighter when it is not in use. In the other chair sits a woman of perhaps Korean heritage, chatting quietly into a cell phone. All four of these people have drinks beside them and backpacks at their feet. All must be students.”
Because we know the person making the observations has never been in a Starbucks or to any coffee house in the US, the simple, accurate details are telling: the fireplace is unlit and a table separates two easy chairs. The people all have drinks beside them. The short list makes the familiar seem noteworthy, even odd.
Later, in a moment of feeling homesick, Tami calls her mother and visualizes where her mother is standing as they speak:
…I am able to picture my mother perfectly and imagine what she is doing at this moment. She is dressed in house pants and slippers and has her hair pulled back with a barrette. She is standing at the window facing the courtyard. The curtains are open, since the window is not visible form the street. And she is watching leaves twirl through the cobblestones.
Again, the details are common ones, but because we know the speaker is homesick and in need of her mother’s advice, the details evoke familiarity and move us.
When Tami’s ESL classmate Eva fixes Tami up with a perspective partner, Tami meets the man at a Chuys, a Mexican style franchise restaurant. Tami describes the table at which the man sits:
On the table before him is a bottle of Corona with a lime squeezed into it, a basket of tortilla chips and salsa, his car keys, and his cell phone. He looks at the walls, which consist of company sponsored graffiti.
Tami decides to marry this man who is willing to help her become a legal resident of the US. But on her wedding day, she hears disturbing news from him. Her description of the landscape she sees as she mulls over what to do contains hints of the attitude she is going to employ–one of standing up for herself, though she may be merely moving from one entrapment to another:
Around me, I see the cloudless skies, the clear air, and the buffer of the Catalina Mountains to the north. A jackrabbit scurries from one hole he’s dug under the wall to another by the agave cactus. Birds sing their songs of freedom from the palo verde trees around us. The bougainvillea blooms explosively and the air is scented with the blossoms of the honeysuckle.
Fitzgerald’s writing reminds us of the importance of well-chosen details of place and illustrates the way such details build the readers’ belief in the world of the story.
To practice doing this yourself, here are four exercises:
- Look at a room or landscape through the eyes of a person you know. Think of something in particular this person fears. What might he or she see, hear and touch, smell and even taste in the room or landscape that can evoke a meditation on this fear?
- Imagine phoning someone who is in a place that you know well. Describe the place in which the person is standing or sitting.
- Take a walk through your neighborhood. Imagine that you are doing this just after having an argument with someone you love. Describe what you see in the neighborhood in a way that will evoke the mood you are in post argument (annoyed, devastated, smoldering, for instance).
- Now take that same walk and describe the same neighborhood, but this time while imaging that you have won a big award or the lottery. Describe what you see in the neighborhood in a way that will evoke the mood you are in post winning (happy, scared, contemplative, for instance).
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When you read, make a point of paying attention to what the author is deliberately having you notice and when in the writing you are made to notice it. Think about what work particular descriptions do to advance a story’s emotional quality as well as ground the reader in the writing’s reality. You can do this while watching films, as well, by paying attention to what is in the frame during emotional scenes.
When you read your own drafts, look for opportunities to include descriptions of place, no matter how brief. In this way, you will deepen your readers’ connection to your material as well as your ability to fully explore emotional occasions.
