You may have read that since 1976, Lake Superior State University in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula has published a yearly list of words/phrases to ban from the Queen’s English. This week, the school released words chosen from over 2000 nominations on the basis of misuse, overuse, or general uselessness in the committee’s eyes.

The list’s publication is an endeavor to draw attention to the lesser-known school. According to news accounts, many of the phrases banned are not necessarily new, but with increased use got under enough people’s skin to earn the honor.

According to online Chicago correspondents on a previous list, “… the committee targeted such linguistic gems as ‘hunker down,’ which it noted is used by media ‘in reports about everything from politics to hurricanes’ and the frequently heard news phrase ‘person of interest.'” “Community of learners” is on the list as is “up-or-down vote,” a 2005 phrase from Republicans eager to see US President George W. Bush’s judicial nominees quickly confirmed, without the stalling tactic of a Democratic filibuster. The useless word list committee also chose the acronym “FEMA,” since the Federal Emergency Management Agency’s operations in the aftermath of hurricane Katrina were so widely criticized. “If they don’t do anything, we don’t need their acronym,” Arizona resident Josh Hamilton wrote.

I don’t know how the word and phrase nominations are made, but wondering about the process the committee uses for choosing the winning words inspired several writing exercises for me.

You might enjoy trying these exercises to get yourself to start writing now and keep the New Year’s resolutions you’ve made about not putting your writing off. Working from someone else’s list of phrases and words might help you say things you wouldn’t have thought about otherwise.

First, here’s the complete list of Lake Superior State University’s newly released 18 suggestions for banned words and phrases:

perfect storm
webinar
waterboarding
organic
wordsmith/wordsmithing
author/authored
post 9/11
surge
give back
‘blank’ is the new ‘blank’ example: 60 is the new 50
black friday
back in the day
random
sweet
decimate
emotional
it is what it is
under the bus

Exercise 1
Commit to writing a passage (a freewrite will do) inspired by each item on the list, one a day. After 16 days, you will have a lengthy essay built in parts. To invite your unconscious to deliver interesting associations, memories and images, work under a title that describes an idea you imagine behind your writing in this exercise: “Weekdays, 3 PM” or “Half the Month, Words Irritate Me,” “Hanging Out With the Knaves of the Queen’s English,” or “What I Think When I Think About Our Language.” Or don’t work with a title and just write. Once you have all of your passages done, a good title might occur to you. As I look at the list though, more titles come to me: “In the Language of 2008,” “Talking Points,” and “Buzz from the Buzz Words,” for instance.

Exercise 2
 Make up your own list of should-be-banned words and phrases and write to explain why you think so. You can include dialog to prove your points, both overheard conversations or ones you’ve had. Enjoy making free associations to build your case for each item on your list.

You might call your writing, “16 Arguments for the Elimination of Business as Usual” or “What I’m Thinking About When You Tell Me It’s Breaking News (or “What I’m thinking When You Say I’m a Dude,” or “What I Am Thinking When They Tell Me Everyone Loves Chocolate and Coffee is Good for Us.”

Go for at least four or five items in your list. But more is better, especially while you are drafting. You can choose the ones you feel are the best ones later.

I know some of what I’d put on my list and begin freewrites about in the days ahead: “listen carefully, the menu has changed,” “one of our associates will be with you” and “late fees will apply.”

Exercise 3
Make a list of all the useless actions and items around you each day. You can draw from things family members do as well as things news people, politicians and shop clerks say and do. Then make acronyms for each. List the acronyms and then set about writing about each of them.

Perhaps you won’t tell exactly what the acronyms you list mean, but allow your readers to guess from the context you create. You might call this essay built in parts something like, “The Jargon of the Early 21st Century” or “In the Thick of It.”

Whatever strategies you adopt for using a banned words and phrases list as your inspiration, if you work on one freewrite or passage a day, in a week or two, you will have a nice chunk of writing.

Once you’ve generated the essay in parts, put it away for an equal amount of time as it took to generate the writing before you start revision or mail it to yourself and let the piece journey into the world without you. The postage is worth it. It will come back changed and you will know how to take care of it.

I believe you will find something quite wonderful arising in writing generated by irritation with words–kind of like a grain of sand irritating the oyster till it generates layers of pearl.

****

After thinking about the idea of annoying and to-be-banned phrases, I decided for some reason to see if I could write about love with some of the phrases that stick in my ears, literally, these days because I am on the phone so much.

I like to use juxtapositions as a starting place when I write. I thought about what I consider the opposite of irritation. One is love, so I decided to see what would happen if I used phrases that irritate me in an effort to describe love. What came about is a sort of a found poem that I think evokes how we postpone or bury what’s most alive in us in the midst of life’s diversions:

21st Century Love

“Your hold time is five minutes, 32 seconds.”

“Your call is being monitored.”

“All lines are temporarily busy.”

“Did you know you can visit us online?”

“Fees may apply.”

“Error message 404”

“Will you hold?”

“Will you hold?”

Exercise 4
See what you can evoke about human behavior by merely listing phrases you wish were banned.

When Kurt read the article before formatting it for posting, he was inspired to write a paragraph that uses a list of phrases and words he’d ban from the language. He borrowed from Lake Superior State University’s list and added in some from his own list. In the end, he’d created an interesting voice, that of a geek talking like a “gangsta” so I encouraged him to give the passage a title that sets the reader up for this “dialect”:

Gangsta Geek Xtreme

What it is, bro. I am under gynormous pressure; it’s surreal. My threat level at the end of the day is a perfect storm. Maybe I’ll just text my homey on the mother ship (CYA) and then hunker down in my crib with my buds and one of my bitches and just party hearty. Or maybe I’ll hook up with some skank from the ‘hood and get busy. But what up with that? Just shiz, dawg, a man’s got to represent.

Here’s some breaking news: players keep playing. So I’ll probably just chill and listen to some tunes off my iPhone (which is awesome IMO and a total chick magnet — for real) . Trust me, dude, it is what it is. TTFN.

Not a frequent text messenger, I had to ask Kurt about the acronyms he used. Turns out they mean “cover your ass,” “in my opinion” and “ta ta for now.” Surprised as I am at this character, I am impressed with the spirit of this speak and the way it makes me want to learn more about the one whose burst of energy doesn’t take him far from his electronics. Hey, come to think of it, maybe Internet, online, email, texting, iPhone, iPod, eCommerce, B2B are on one of your lists!

I’d love to see your exercise results! Send them in!