Sheila
Last week, in Writing It Real, I shared a section of your memoir, On Austrian Soil: Teaching Those I Was Taught to Hate with readers. I think the section we posted demonstrates the way your memoir developed from a turning point in your relationship to the teachers with whom you were working.

I’d like to know about the inspiration for writing a memoir about that turning point. You use such a lovely blend of letters, journal entries, stories of your classes and time with students as well as your time between trips to Austria.

At what point did you know you would write a memoir? How did you realize you would include the letters and journal entries?

Sondra
I had no idea that my experience teaching in Austria would lead to a book. But when I returned after the first trip, I could not stop talking about what happened and soon I realized that the story had larger implications and that it might be of interest to others. During my second trip, I took notes on what was happening, both inside and outside of my classroom, and by the third trip I asked the teachers for their permission to include them in what I now knew would become a memoir.

Since I also teach about how to do research in classrooms and have conducted classroom research myself, I was comfortable recording what was going on in field notes. I know that researchers, like writers, often need to return to notes, journals, emails, letters and other types of “data” to flesh out their stories, so I saved everything. Each of my trips lasted about three weeks. Usually they occurred in the summer or over the January intersession when I was not teaching at the university. The Austrian teachers used summers and weekends to attend these intensive courses. The book recounts my first three trips, which took place between 1996 and 1998. Later on, I spent a lot of time deciding what to use and how to blend the different genres.

Sheila
What other obstacles did you face in creating the book?

 Sondra
Lots! It is never easy to talk about hatred or to reveal one’s own prejudices. But I felt I had to if the story were to mean anything to anyone else. I also did not want to intrude into the private family histories of the Austrian teachers. I knew that some would be angry at me for even mentioning the Holocaust or for asking them to consider the role their parents had played. Writing sensitively about such loaded topics is hard. And I didn’t want to set myself up as a “master teacher,” as if I were congratulating myself about the success of my teaching. I tried to negotiate these landmines as gracefully as I could.

When I began drafting the book, family and work obligations often seemed to get in the way of writing. Certainly teaching full time and raising a family with three kids account for part of the delay. Also, it took time to find a publisher who was interested in a book that dealt with so many different issues and included so many different genres. Most wanted it to have a particular niche. They would ask me, “Is this Holocaust or education, a teaching story or a memoir?”

I would answer, “All of the above. The book isn’t about one thing; it’s about crossing borders and genres.” For most mainstream publishers, this lack of a simple category in which to place the book would make it harder to sell.

Sheila
How did the publisher that took the book approach selling it how? Have they succeeded? It is interesting to learn about sticking to a vision and succeeding!

Sondra
Well, I gave up trying to interest a trade house and went instead with a university press. The best thing about university presses is that they seem willing to take risks if they believe in the concept and sales are not the only factor determining success. They keep books in print so long as there is a need for them, which would include their use in courses at universities. The down side is that, unlike trade houses, they do not have large budgets for advertising; so much of the publicity needs to be done by the author. I am in the early stages of figuring out how to get the word out, but as long as there is some interest in the book and people order it for courses, it will likely stay in print. Of course, if it wins a big award…..

Sheila

I hope it does win an award! Your book certainly illustrates how embodied writing builds bonds.

How did you apply your understanding of “felt sense” to your own writing process?

Sondra
Relying on my “felt sense” is something I do just about all the time. It takes getting quiet, paying attention to my body, and then waiting for what feel like the right words to come. Sometimes I pause and ask myself, “What am I trying to say here…?” Or “What’s needed here…?” and if I can stay focused and quiet, the words will appear.

I love being in what I think of as a “writing rhythm” — where hours can pass as I am drafting something at the computer and I barely notice. I also love being so immersed in a subject that I can go to sleep with an unresolved problem and wake up knowing the answer. This sort of experience only happens when I am able to devote large chunks of uninterrupted time to writing. Usually, my writing is interrupted with teaching, phone calls, and the daily life of parenting.

Sheila
How has the book changed your life and your writing and teaching?

Sondra
This project took ten years and has affected me in many ways. I now teach courses on the Holocaust called “Yesterday’s History; Today’s Response.” I will be leading a one-week seminar in New York this summer for teachers interested in learning more about how to teach the Holocaust. And ultimately I hope to work with teachers in other parts of the world that are still suffering due to inherited hatred.

I would like to travel to places — towns, cities, villages — where the wounds of war and inherited hatred remain unhealed. Unfortunately, there are far too many of them ranging from the Balkans to the mid-East to the Sudan. Once I arrive in such a place, I would want to set up a seminar for teachers who share my beliefs about teaching, who agree that teaching is a moral act and that our job is to open the minds of students, not to close them down. The best way to do this, in my mind, is for all of us to sit and write together and then to listen as we read our own stories. In this way, I suggest, we come to understand those who are different from us. Teachers who engage in this practice can then consider how best to bring it back to their classrooms, using writing and story-telling as a way to break down barriers and to build peace.

I certainly don’t want to be naive and to claim that writing and sharing can undo years of anger and finger pointing. But I have found, over and over again, that people are eager to tell their stories, especially if they know they will have an audience who listens sympathetically. So while some may at first not want to reveal much about themselves or their upbringing, even becoming angry at what could be seen as my intrusion into private areas of their lives, I have seen from my work in Austria that it only takes one willing participant to encourage a group to be honest and forthcoming.
I have also seen that I need to be willing to reveal something about myself. If I write, too, and speak openly and honestly, then others, given time, usually become more willing. In the end, I am trying to build trust, which I think allows real learning to occur.

Sheila
Thank you for letting us in on your passion and motivation. What advice do you have for others writing memoir—especially those who are using letters and travels?

Sondra
My best advice would be to take notes all the time, paying particular attention to details — the way the light slants on a building, the way someone moves across a room, the sounds you hear on a bus. It is important to jot down dialogue because what people say is so unique and the exact words disappear so quickly. I also try to keep track of my own mood — what I am feeling or sensing in a given location.

Sheila
There is no magic formula for finding one’s way into a memoir, but this glimpse into your experience is valuable for many who want to write about parts of their lives:

1. When you can’t stop talking about something, it is probably time to write about it to find out why the experience is drawing your attention.
2. If you are in the habit of journaling and collecting the writing of others, you will have material to draw from that can offer many details and relationships. You never know if what you jot down today will be useful tomorrow, but jotting down can ultimately help you find your way.
3. Finally, you have to stick to it, no matter what publishers say, what family and life demands keep interrupting you, and no matter how long the work takes you.

Three very golden rules.

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Here’s an exercise for Writing It Real readers who are thinking of starting a memoir or a personal essay about a time in their lives that contained growth and personal shifts

Hone in on one period of time in your life–define it by where you were geographically or by what school, camp, or company you were at or by what the main tasks of your life were then (i.e. raising children, earning a living, care giving, learning to live with a limitation).

Brainstorm activities you did during the selected period. Sondra talks about getting better at hiking the Alps. Choose one activity from among the ones you wrote down.

Write about the activity by describing yourself doing it, and when you find a place to “rest” during that activity, write to fill the reader in on your life during that time.

When you have described the time in your life to your satisfaction, start a new paragraph with the line, “I have come to the conclusion that…” and fill in what you can conclude.

Now you are ready to continue writing the full story.

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Many thanks to WIR subscriber Karen Rippstein for sharing her use of this line in writing workshops. It comes from a 1974 poem by Nelle Fertig entitled “I Have Come to the Conclusion,” which she found in Discovering Poetry by Hans P. Guth and Gabriele L. Rico (page 258).