Betsy
After my parents died, I had a lot of unanswered questions about them, myself, and the larger family I had come from. Neither my father nor mother had ever shared much from their early lives, which made them seem to me, in some respects, almost strangers. Without siblings or other close family, I had no one to ask my many questions. I also had a lot of pain and uncertainty about how next to proceed in my life. So, a year and a half after my mother died, I quit my job and began living on the money they’d left me while learning how to be a writer. I took classes on literature and the craft of writing and worked on essays and short stories, trying to get pieces published. About this time, I also began to read my great-great-grandfather Darsie Heath’s Civil War journals. They’d been very important to my father, who had also been a soldier, and they provided me two things: a tangible familial connection where so few existed outside of memory, and also a possible writing project. However at the time, I hadn’t planned on writing a book about my ancestor, father, or their wars. At most, I thought I would do a journal article or possibly a short story.

When I finally understood I wanted to write something longer, I knew the journals and the stories they contained, would form the book’s skeleton. I also knew I wanted to travel the route my ancestor had traveled. I wanted to compare his experience with my experience, look for the similarities and the differences, and see if there was anything that connected us. Of course, what connected us was my father and his experiences during war but I didn’t fully understand that at the beginning of this project

Sheila
Can you give us an example of a question and what you found in literature that helped?

 Betsy
I’ve always wanted to be a writer. When I was in the third grade I wrote my first “book” called The Lion and the Horse and my elementary school library published it, which is to say they typed it up and put in on one of the library shelves. I also kept diaries during those years and though I stopped that for a time (due to two friends reading one of them), I picked up the habit again in my twenties and have been doing it ever since. Writing has just always been the most helpful way of organizing my thoughts, and questions, as well as also releasing a lot of my emotional pain that would have just stagnated inside me otherwise. I don’t know that I thought long ago about what drew me to writing but now I can see that with my ancestor, who may or may not have continued with his writing, and my father, whose notebooks clearly indicated he wanted to be a writer, I had some background for it (just like I had the background for some other, less desirable, traits). This makes me think of a great line from the movie, Amistad, where John Quincy Adams, played by Anthony Hopkins, is looking back at the founders of the country and their impact on those in the present, and he says, “Who we are is who we were.” After coming to a much better understanding about my parents and other members of my family, I believe this more than ever.

In terms of a specific question and answer I later found in my research, one topic I thought a lot about during this long process was fear and how my father and great-great-grandfather coped with their fear on the battlefield, and perhaps off it as well. I’d wonder things like, “Would I also be brave in the same situations?” Would I survive, emotionally and physically? Were they brave? How did they feel? When I found the memoirs of William Mohrmann, a man in Darsie Heath’s company who rose from corporal to captain during their three years of service, I discovered he had specifically written about my ancestor on this very topic. And on first glance it wasn’t what I’d hoped for. After the second attack on Vicksburg in May 1863, the then Corporal Mohrmann wrote that Private Heath had begun to crawl away from the fight and that he, Mohrmann, had to jump on top of him and box his ears before “[Darsie] got over his nervousness.” This wasn’t the bravery I’d been seeking but I actually ended up with something better. Several pages later Mohrmann also wrote that after the unsuccessful charges on Vicksburg, he was made second lieutenant AND that “the man whose ears I cuffed during the charge voted for me to be his officer.” That right there told me so much about my ancestor and I liked all of it!

Sheila
What other surprises were in store for you as you worked the material?

Betsy
The biggest surprise for me was that this was a book about my father, my family, and me. Initially, I had devised a story that alternated between a present day travel memoir describing my journey along my ancestor’s footsteps and a fictional account of a young boy going off to war based on the experiences Darsie described. Neither my parents nor I, except as an observer in the travel portion, figured into the story at all. When I showed some early work to the woman who would later become my agent, she told me matter-of-factly that this book was about me and my family and that that’s what I needed to be writing about. At the time, I wasn’t ready to hear this. The pain was still too fresh to write about anything having to do with my father and, in any case, I couldn’t imagine anyone being the least bit interested in such an ordinary story.

Sheila
Why did you think the story about your father and your life was ordinary?

Betsy
I think when I didn’t know much of my father’s story, it seemed terribly ordinary to me. Yes, I knew he’d been a paratrooper. Yes, I knew he’d been in two wars. Yes, I knew about my ancestor’s journals from the Civil War. But I lacked details and one of the biggest blocks I had to finding those details was the pain of my childhood, my father’s drinking, my own drinking, my family’s silences and anger and withdrawal. Once I got past some of those barriers and began to find out more about each man’s experiences, their history, and mine as well I suppose, no longer seemed ordinary. Still, I wasn’t sure that it was a story that would interest other people but I’ve found that it has and not because it’s unique but rather because it’s so common. There are many of us out there, children of veterans, who’ve had many of the same experiences. That’s where the interest is, in the commonality, rather than the singularity, of such a history.

Sheila
What was the outcome for you as someone exploring the issues you’ve raised?

Betsy
When I finally understood that the agent was right and that this story was more than just a travelogue, I began to delve deeper into the experience of war and how that had affected me personally (by living, on a daily basis, with a veteran). Through my ancestor, for whom I could feel a lot of compassion without also having other more complicated feelings, I began to feel real compassion for my father. I was able to forgive him his alcoholism, his withdrawal, his silence at the end of his life. The chronic nightmares I’d had for many years about both of my parents also eventually disappeared. Additionally, throughout this very long process, I learned to write. It was a pretty big task to try and shape a story while still working with my grief, but as the pain lessened my desire to craft a story that others could relate to but that also demanded attention to the art of storytelling increased.

Sheila
What are you most excited about in the material as it evolved?

Betsy
I really enjoyed the research and the process of investigation, beginning with transcribing Darsie Heath’s Civil War journals to locating writings by other members of his regiment to the interviews I did with surviving members of my father’s regiment. When I found the memoirs of an officer in Darsie’s company who had written about my ancestor, I felt like I’d struck gold. Likewise, as I traveled through Illinois, Mississippi, and Tennessee, I found little nuggets along the way. These came through people I met or the landscape I saw. When someone in Vicksburg showed me where someone from Darsie’s regiment had etched “72 ILL” (for 72nd Illinois Infantry) on the Courthouse the day the Confederates surrendered the city, it was like a hand was reaching out to me from long ago.

Sheila
What have you learned about writing and how has that informed a future writing project?

Betsy
Given that I began knowing almost nothing about writing, I’ve learned many, many things. I’ve learned about the importance of discipline and making the writing a priority no matter what else is going on in my life. I began Acoustic Shadows when I wasn’t working so I had a lot of time to devote to the effort. However, I also didn’t have good discipline during those years. Fortunately, I did developed it and now, even though I’m back to working full-time, I write nearly as much as I did before. And that’s very important. If I don’t devote time to writing and letting my imagination have the space it deserves (and demands!) to develop, then I don’t feel good about the other things I also have to do every day. The other really important thing I learned was not to get too much in the way of the story. I feel like I can often overwrite a story, which is to say, I explain too much about what is happening in a scene or what the back story is or who the characters are or whatever. As I worked with the editors on Acoustic Shadows, I really learned the importance of trusting the story itself to be the most powerful aspect. Of course, I had to put it all together but I didn’t need to handhold the reader through every bit of dialogue or every description of place. Both of these lessons have been invaluable as I proceed with my current project, which is a novel set during the Civil War.

Sheila
Despite having an agent, you decided to self-publish Acoustic Shadows. How did you make this decision and what was your experience with finding a publisher, procuring the editing and design and printing services you needed, cover design, ISBN numbers and all of that?

Betsy
Although, I did find an agent early on who liked the idea of my book, as I said, she felt I wasn’t exactly on the right track with it. When I did finally find that track, she was still interested and I signed a contract with her and she began looking for a publisher. She sent Acoustic Shadows to many New York houses and though, according to her, the editors had good things to say about my writing, they all turned it down. After a year and a half of this, I decided I would try myself with some smaller publishers and those also didn’t pan out. Eventually, I just decided to publish it myself. I certainly could have kept trying to find a place but I didn’t feel like waiting on someone else any longer and it was very important for me to finish this project.

There was also something quite appealing about getting to do everything just the way I wanted. To that end, I am fortunate that my partner spent many years in the publishing industry so her help was critical. We made a list of all the things I had to do, such as getting more developmental editing done, followed by line editing, copy editing, and finally proofreading; finding a printing house; purchasing an ISBN number (where I learned you actually have to buy ten at a time!); finding someone to do the front and back cover designs and also make a family tree chart as well as a map of my ancestor’s travels, and having several photos I wanted in the book professionally scanned. It took many months to do all of this but I found someone in my town to do the covers and also a man who does high-quality scanning. I found a publishing house in Centralia, WA that was very good to work with and helped me put together a book that, I feel, doesn’t look self-published. And through my partner, I also found two excellent editors in Seattle. It was a lot of work but mostly a really satisfying experience. And I got just what I wanted!

Sheila
Okay, get ready. You’ve made me think of a barrage of questions. What was the name of the publishing house in Centralia? How did the developmental editing teach you about trusting the story? Are you going to write nine more books now, one for each of the extra ISBN numbers? That could be motivating.

Betsy
The printing house is Gorham Printing, and I would definitely recommend them. I think over the course of so much editing, including the two in-depth developmental edits, I just began to see the power of the old saying, “less is more.” I’m not sure I can explain it very well. I just know that in earlier versions of the book, I seemed to really want to make sure readers came to the same conclusions I had with the result that there was at times a rather annoying tone to my sentences. When I dropped this insistence, the language improved immensely (I think).

As for the ISBN numbers, the place where you buy them makes repeated statements about how it’s quite illegal to sell them to others (obviously the logical step unless one really does plan to self-publish nine more books). The whole process, between all the editing, printing, design, etc., cost about $10,000; I don’t have money like that to do another self-published book so I’m really hoping the next one gets picked up by someone.

Sheila
That’s a big price tag for an individual but seems quite a moderate price for a book to get out into the world. What are you doing now to support the book and help readers find your work?

Betsy
When Acoustic Shadows first came out, I got a few places/people to review it and I posted it on Amazon. I also tried to set up readings at libraries and bookstores. I thought this would be relatively simple, as the book’s topics, war and its impacts as well as travel and the journals themselves, seemed like they would easily interest people. Throughout the process of writing and looking for a publisher, my agent, as well as the editors she worked with, had said that the Civil War is never outdated. Still, I got turned down at all the places I tried, which I believe was due to the self-publishing aspect. Most people just don’t want to take the risk on something that hasn’t been vetted through a trusted publishing house. I also had reviewers tell me straight out that they don’t review self-published books. At that point, with this being my first effort and it being such a personal one, I retreated from self-promotion and approached the marketing aspect more anonymously, sending the book away to places that would review it, which I sometimes paid for, and selling it to friends. I also took it to Civil War reenactments where there were people I knew who would be interested in the topic. I certainly could do more and I may still but this has been the extent so far.

Sheila
I hadn’t heard of paying for reviews.  Where do they appear? Do you think they helped spread the word about your book?

Betsy
I think initially I just started googling around “self-published books” and “reviews.” I had the book reviewed for free with a place called Lightword Publishing, which does The Mindquest Review of Books. Lightword focuses on books by small and self-publishers and once reviewed, hard copies of the review are sent to “selected publications and newspapers.” An author can also pay for more marketing through Lightword but I didn’t as I was feeling pretty tapped out by that time. I had another review done for free with The Civil War Courier, a newspaper that comes out monthly to subscribers and covers all things Civil War. Another place I submitted Acoustic Shadows to was the Midwest Book Review, which I’d found online, but I believe their system involves “making the cut” just to get reviewed. I must not have because I never heard back from them. I paid for a review with Kirkus Discoveries, which is a part of Kirkus Reviews but focuses on independently published books. That cost $350 (I see on the website that the fee is now up to $400) and they make sure the author understands it’s a caveat emptor service with “honest, impartial evaluations.” Another place that will review for a fee of $52 is the US Review of Books; I haven’t tried them yet.

The Kirkus Discoveries review appeared on their website and the other two were hard copies that appeared in the different publications. Did these help spread the word about the book? Maybe, but I really don’t know. For awhile, Acoustic Shadows was selling pretty well, reasonably speaking, on Amazon so perhaps the reviews played a part in that. Again, I think if I got out more with the book, that would probably spread the word best.

Sheila
I know one success story–a client of mine keeps a blog of gorgeous essays she has written on opensalon.com. Editors and agents look at the blogs on the site since the site is sponsored by Salon.com. I wonder if you might get some attention by posting chapters and excerpts there.

Betsy
I just looked at the website quickly. Looks like a possibility! I may register this weekend.

Sheila
I want to ask you what the importance to you was of getting that first project published and out there without further waiting.

Would you recommend self-publishing to others? It seems exactly right to me that you sell the book at Civil War re-enactments. It also seems right to me that you could get assignments for magazines based on chapters as samples of your writing.

Betsy
Some of my desire was purely emotional. It had taken many, many years but I had finally come to some acceptance regarding my parents and the book of course was the engine for much of that. When I couldn’t find a publisher, I could have just slipped the manuscript into a drawer and still reaped all the emotional benefits that came from simply having written it. But there was also a part of me that insisted I finish the work in the manner I felt it deserved. When I accepted who my parents had been and the lives they had chosen to live, as well as the deaths over which they had no control, I also felt very proud of them and my ancestor, who had helped me immeasurably to get to that point. None of them were perfect people but I understood that they had done their best. I wanted my work to reflect that pride.

I think self-publishing can be a great way to go. It’s not cheap but one has a lot of control over what happens with the work and that’s a great thing. It can also be a really tough road in terms of getting noticed. It’s not impossible, just harder. In the end, it all depends on what a person wants.

Sheila
Are you sure that you have found all the military history publishing houses that might be interested in reprinting the book or acquiring the stock to sell?

Betsy
Oh, I’m not sure about that at all. I’m always keeping my eyes peeled for possibilities but I have lessened my search now that I have published it and have also moved on to my novel. Who knows though? Someday I may find a better home for Acoustic Shadows, but for now I’m happy with what I have.

Sheila
I’m glad writing remains central in your life. It seems natural that after the journals and retracing of your great-great-grandfather’s Civil War route and becoming a Civil War re-enactor you would be at work on a novel set in Civil War times. You must have so many details to use.

Thank you, Betsy. I really appreciate the time you’ve taken to describe your first writing project and your experience self-publishing. I know many will benefit from the information you have shared.
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