People have told me that fear of public speaking ranks high among the biggest fears we have. I know from my experience as a poet and writer who has given and attended readers for almost 30 years, that reading our writing before others, whether as open mic participants, workshop members or featured readers, gives us pause. Some of us get so nervous that our hands shake and our audiences see our pages quivering (thank goodness for podiums when we have them to lay our work out on). Some of us sit at the back of the room waiting for our time to be called nervously re-bookmarking the poems and stories and excerpts we want to read aloud or think would be the best ones for the audience. Some of us practically whisper our words, so sure are we that we don’t deserve to be up there, that the audience won’t like what we are writing or think of it as good enough. We feel so easily that we are merely “masquerading” as “real” writers though we listen to others with enthusiasm, happy they are sharing their work.

No matter how nervous it makes us, reading our work in public and/or becoming public speakers to build platforms for books we have written or will write are important aspects of our writing lives. By giving readings and presentations, we meet people, exchange ideas and references, receive feedback on our work and gain inspiration from listeners who add their insights to ours.

I was very pleased when Eric Butterman, who writes and presents on public speaking, asked if Writing It Real would be interested in an article about his work and tips for writers. Here is our email interview:

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Sheila
Let’s start with an introduction about you and your work.

Eric
I’m a public speaking trainer and writer—it’s given me a chance to speak everywhere from corporate conferences to universities like NYU and Harvard. I’ve also written about public speaking several times. I’ve utilized my speaking skills for businesses such as Nortel and NAPCO, among other clients.

Sheila
Can you tell us more about how you entered the field of being a public speaking trainer and writer?

 Eric
I’ve always enjoyed speaking in front of people and found it really helped me move forward in business. At the same time, I realized it’s an area many people, even CEOs, avoid and it holds them back from reaching their career potential. If you can speak in front of hundreds of people, that audience can hire you and so can everyone they refer you to. As far as writing, I started by applying for jobs at magazines with samples I’d written and was hired by Folio: magazine as an editor. I then went on to pitch articles to other publications and expanded into freelance writing. My latest is for the upcoming issue of MyBusiness.

Sheila
What is the article about?

Eric
It talks about how businesses can figure out the right speaker for them based on their company message and goals. I interview a motivational speaker who was the first cancer survivor to climb Mount Everest and also a marketing director who hired a college mascot to pump up their conference.

Sheila
How did the interviews meld with your purpose of figuring out the right speaker for business presentations?

Eric
The interviews worked out because my subjects stayed on the task of helping businesses instead of just trying to promote themselves.

Sheila
Where else does your web writing appear? How did you go about finding the venues for publication?

Eric
Here’s one I did a few years back for Inc.com on how businesses can choose the right IT solutions. The article came about through Laura Rich, who’s now an editor on the web side for Portfolio magazine. At the time she was editorial director of Inc.com and we had always talked about working together when we’d see each other at industry events. Finally, we did. People who don’t believe in networking miss out.

Sheila
Writers are often very shy about networking as well as about reading their work, which can be very intimate, in front of others, even in a workshop setting. Most writers work hard to get their words to sing on the page and then they send them out in print form, where they will reach others silently. Yet the high of having shared in person is very pleasurable and we also crave that.

Do you have any tips about dealing with the personal nature of sharing your thinking and feelings with the public?

Eric
Understand there’s no such thing as universal acclaim—for example, Forrest Gump only got 2 ½ stars from famed film critic Leonard Maltin. Rather than be afraid of criticism, think of it as an opportunity to make your work even better if they come up with valid helpful points.

Sheila
I agree that being afraid of criticism is definitely a big block in presenting work and networking–when you feel that your work might not be “good enough” you can become quite hesitant to present yourself as a writer. So knowing that “there’s no such think as universal acclaim” might be a good mantra. In general, what is the basic public speaking tip that helps folks most?

Eric
The biggest one is using key words. Rather than memorize your speech word-for-word and risk sounding scripted and fake, memorize a few key words that will remind you of general subjects you want to hit but will allow you to be conversational and speak from the heart. For example, if I’m giving a talk on public speaking, some of my key words are: “Fear,” “Connect,” “People,” and, surprise, “Key Words!”

Sheila
How might a writer use this tip for speaking between poems or stories when they give a reading and must help the audience clear space for deeper listening?

Eric
A good way is by memorizing the key words that relate to the theme of your work, but also telling a funny or interesting anecdote about the poem or story you’re about to read. Especially if all your work is on a very serious topic, a little levity could make for a good balance.

Sheila
I think it is a challenge for writers to remember that although their work is serious and often sad, there are lighter parts of the story the audience will appreciate knowing and hearing those lighter parts will allow the audience to clear the emotional space to be attentive and take in what might otherwise be difficult to listen to.

Got a tip from your own experience for using the writing as a platform to becoming that industry expert?

Eric
Have specialties and make a point of writing about them as often as you can. Writing about business issues in the travel industry led to travel companies approaching me about jobs and getting requests to speak on the topic.

Sheila
Say you’ve made it into that position of speaking to the industry or group. What makes for a great presentation?

Eric
Use people in stories to back up your speech’s claims, along with their real names if you can get their permission. An audience is always skeptical but putting a name to your point adds authenticity. If they still doubt you, they can always contact that person to make sure your claims are accurate.

Sheila
Let’s translate this even more for writers giving talks on a topic they have written about.

Eric
Okay. In the example about writing about gardening, imagine that now you’re at a national gardening show and about to give a speech. You have about 15 points you know are important and you want to hit them all—don’t! It’s better to hit five topics or less and hit them thoroughly, never feeling you have to rush to try to get everything in. You might remember those Micro Machine commercials with the guy who talked 1000 miles a minute; that’s what people sound like when they try to get a million points into a speech. You may get every last word out, but no one will understand what you’re saying or will find you less than believable because nervous people talk fast. Why should you be nervous, they think, if you’re being truthful.

Sheila
And a third piece of advice?

Eric
Be okay with making mistakes— the average speech can go great…until the speaker stumbles over a word. Then
the nerves come out over it; they get visibly frustrated and let the rest of the speech suffer because it’s no longer “perfect.” Guess what: no speech is perfect! Accept the error right then and there, and maybe even laugh at it. Fact: some of Johnny Carson’s greatest laughs came after he misspoke.

Sheila
I like that reminder that there is no perfection in presenting. But when we do stumble, what’s something in particular we can do to regain the meaning and dignity of the presentation?

Eric
Let’s say you keep lisping on “S” words, simply chuckle and ad lib, “Easy for me to say!” Again, the crowd will appreciate you finding humor in your mistake, rather than having it rattle you.

Sheila
And a fourth piece of advice?

Eric
Record your speeches so you can improve upon your mistakes for next time by hearing where you’re getting the laughs and where you’re not for help in figuring out what to cut and what to keep.

Sheila
What is it about having an audience that inspires and energizes?

Eric
It’s the feeling that you’re sharing something that will improve someone’s life. They’ve given you their time and you want them to feel they got a bargain and maybe even something they can pass on to others.

Sheila
This would be something for a writer to remember–that by sharing her work she is engaging in an activity that does improve lives because listening to writing is listening to one person’s insides speaking to another’s (paraphrase of Wordsworth) and that builds understanding and connection.

And one final piece of advice?

Eric
Speak any chance you get. The more you do it, the better you’ll get. If you’re concerned about embarrassing yourself then just do it in front of your friends and family to start. Chances are you’ve embarrassed yourself in front of them far worse than any speech could! As far as writing, pitch as many publications as possible because it’s a numbers game, but make sure the pitch is thought out. Also make sure to write it in the voice of the publication, because that’s how they’d probably want you to write the article.

Sheila
So the pitch matches the style of the assignment you hope to get as a freelance writer or speaker and sending out a lot of inquiries for speaking engagements and publication is the game. I can already hear the writers reading this groaning about not having enough time for writing. But, as I said, earlier, we also crave the ability to get our work in front of a public and doing it in person is gratifying. It’s wonderful to hear an editor likes your work and is going to publish it but there is a whole new dimension added when a person who has just heard you read or speak comes up to you and says, “Thank you” and then tells you what they got from listening. Thanks, Eric, for helping us focus on this part of the writing life.

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After Eric and I completed this interview, I thought some more about ways I have learned to approach sharing my work in front of audiences. What do I do with the nervousness that is still there when I am going to read poems and personal essays? First, I use it to give me energy to project my voice–if the audience has been kind enough to come to listen to me, I figure, I owe it to them to speak loudly enough so they can here me. Although I still tend to speak/read faster than I should, I have learned to slow down and give people’s ears a chance to catch up with my lips and tongue so they know what I am saying. There’s a better chance that they’ll like what I am reading and presenting if they can actually understand me. Second, I use my nervousness to help me smile–nervousness is something like excitement, and I do feel eager to see the people who have come to hear me read. Third, I tell myself that I am going to go through with the reading no matter what and will, therefore, live through the nervousness. I then remind myself that I’ll do this more easily by thinking of the audience and my pleasure at seeing them and helping them understand me. So, step three in handling nervousness is really a continuance of giving my attention to steps one and two.

If we have decided to write, something in us would also like to deliver our writing in our own voice to others who are listening attentively. We should think of this desire to read to others and be heard as an important step in building and maintaining community–speaking and being heard, listening and digesting are bonding behaviors. We certainly can use more connection in our world. If as writers, presenters and audiences, we engage in this bonding, hats off to us!