We all have favorite recipes we’ve used for food preparation and sets of instructions we have followed to succeed in putting something together.

What recipes or instruction sets might we write up concerning what we have learned in negotiating other aspects of our lives: instructions for facing disaster, surviving loss, or failure? What would we propose are recipes for success in particular endeavors including building friendships, handling divorce, being a host, living as an artist, running a business, aging gracefully, or speaking out effectively, for instance?

Think about this idea of recipes/instructions not only for succeeding in building something positive in your life, but also for causing the destruction of what you thought you wanted. You can learn a lot about mistakes and make future corrections by writing satirically: “Recipe for Losing One’s Job,” “Recipe for Causing a Break Up,” “Recipe for Alienating a Customer Service Representative,” “Recipe for Not Being Taken Seriously,” “Recipe for Destroying Your House Plants,” “Recipe for a Mid-Life Crisis,” for instance.

Try this:

• Choose from the list above or make up a topic of your own. Write down directions for how to create the thing or circumstance. What are the ingredients you need and where are they found? In what order do you take actions in producing the effect? What does the mix of actions result in? What resources and tools or equipment are necessary? How do you know when you have succeeded in creating what you were after? Do you have to test the product of your endeavors before you know you have succeeded? How would you do that?
• Write a letter to a magazine editor telling her why your recipe is important or entertaining for potential readers.
• Imagine including these instructions or your recipe in your annual holiday letter to your friends and family. Explain why you are including it in your letter.
• Take one of your recipes or instruction sets and show how it can be converted to cook up an opposite quality: success turned into failure or failure turned into success, deep friendship turned into mere acquaintance or acquaintance turned into deep friendship, parenting turned into befriending, for instance.

Here is quick guide to what we do in a process analysis (how to) essay. It is from the website Penlighten:

• Let us look at the standard format of a process essay and some tips for writing one.
• Ideally, the title of a process essay should inform the readers about the process you are going to explain.
• The introduction should give the readers, a background of the process and explain its importance to them.
• The body of the essay should consist of an explanation of the steps required to carry out the process.
• Each step should have a suitable description and a logical link with its preceding and following steps. The body text can also include a brief description of the significance of each step and its specific purpose.
• It is advisable to devote one paragraph per process stage. Use transitional words and phrases like “after a few hours,” “in the meantime,” “during,” “finally,” or “in the end,” to lead the readers from one paragraph to another.
• But avoid the excessive use of connectors like “then.” Also, avoid an overuse of imperative statements, or your essay will turn out to be dry.
• The concluding paragraph of a process essay presents the process results and attempts to reinforce the significance of the procedure. It is best to summarize the main steps of the process in the concluding lines of the essay.
• The conclusion of a process essay can also include some sources of related information that the readers can refer to.

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Here are links to some examples of writing in this format:

This first one, “Process of Surviving Mrs. Higgins’ Class,” is biting but inspiring if you have a very difficult person or situation in your life that you want to write about.

“How to Catch River Crabs” is a short essay on that skill. It is easy, even from the title, to think of essays you might write: “How to Live with a Crab,” or “How to Become a Crab,” or “How to Figure Out the Crab in Your Life Will Never Change.” Or you might think this way, “How to Go Fishing for the Non-Fisherman.”

“For a Better Marriage, Act Like a Single Person,” from the NY Times, certainly adopts an opposite take on the usual how to have a better marriage essay. What advice would you like to counter on a topic about which most people assume they already know the way to do it right?

Here’s another biting one written out of exasperation:  “7 Ways To Get Your Husband to Stop Being a Disgusting Pig.”

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Use the comment section below to let me know if these suggestions and sample essays spark something interesting for you to write about. I know the how-to form will keep you on track as you write what you know and share it, whether in a satirical tone, joyful tone or serious one.